yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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