Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How external is "for external use only"?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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