How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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