Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Everyone says I win the strip club
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
