I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize