I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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