Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
