i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
