My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
