I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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