My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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