A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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