do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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