It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
