Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize