Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
