i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize