I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
