if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
