Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
