I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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