He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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