i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
