Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
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All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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