Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
