Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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