The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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