how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
