out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
