How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
