Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
