did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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