Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
