I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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