i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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