Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
