return my video game
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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