If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We were destined to go to rehab together
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
