big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
