Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
