Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
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I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar