i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
