Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.