whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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