Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
