I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
