I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize