The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize