don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
