you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
