well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
