what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
