mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also, beer. Big fan.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
