hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Barsexuality is the new black.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize