you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize