Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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