His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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