Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
