i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
