people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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