I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize